Regarding small change and train tickets ...

You can always tell when a certain individual has attended the City Folk Club.
There is one among us who considers it expedient to dispose of all his five-pence pieces in the contribution pot ...

Such currency is tedious to count.
These diminutive coins always occupy the most inaccessible corners of your pockets, and you need five pounds-worth to bag up and take to the bank.

Last week Dogsbody had a brilliant idea ...
"I know: next time I take the train to attend the folk club I will purchase my ticket from the machine using all these 5p-s."

The return fare is £2.25.
That's 45 five-pence coins. I have a sufficient quantity.

Here's the machine? It's on the westbound platform...

I choose my destination.
The machine takes a few seconds to recalculate the fare after I have told it about my Senior Railcard.
'PAY NOW USING CASH OR CARD,' commands the machine.
I insert one coin, then a second ... and a third.
The machine rejects the second and third.
Harrumph!
It transpires that there is a seven-second delay during which interval the machine weighs and registers that previous coin before you can insert any more.
I re-insert second coin and patiently wait until I hear 'tinkle-tinkle' indicating that the coin has dropped.
I proceed likewise with the remaining 43 coins, although I become a little anxious as I detect a significant queue of potential travellers waiting to purchase tickets.
(Why is there only one machine?)

Mathematicians among you will discern that this whole process occupies a minimum of 5 minutes and 15 seconds of my life which I will never get back.

The machine eventually disgorges my travel documents ...

Yes, I always buy a return.
It's only 10p more than a single.

Meanwhile the 18.26 to Chichester, (my train!) pulls away from the eastbound platform ...

Never mind.
I'll take the bus!