Friday, January 23, 2009

My Love is Like a Red Red Rose...

With Burn's Night approaching, I had to publish this:

Subjects for discussion:
...Haggis is a load of sheep's crap loosely hidden in intestinal integument.
...Burns was a plagiarist.
...A plagiarist is someone who performs on the beach with a rat-infested instrument called a pasteurella pestis! (Are you with me, Ken?)
...Burns, having sired 14 illegitimate offspring, was an incorrigable philanderer.
...Where did I go wrong?

Not for discussion:
...Eva Cassidy's music is divine.
...She is sadly missed.


Anonymous said...

Eva's music is nice, but undemanding; her voice without real character and range (as this track shows). After an hour of her, you're full up and don't want anymore for a while. After an hour of Sandy Denny, you feel you've just finished the soup, and are ravenous for the main course, and the one after that, and the one after that... . Of the living: I could listen to Eliza Carthy sing unaccompanied for hours.
Still hoping for 'a seat at your table so bright' tonight. In case of reprisals for dissing Eva, I remain anonymous.

Ken Areyouwithme said...

Hmm ... plagiarist - a pun on guitarist and the french word for beach (plage); 'guitar' contains the word 'rat' (backwards); Pasteurella pestis is "A bacterium that causes plague and is transmitted from rats to humans by the rat flea Xenopsylla cheopis. Also called Yersinia pestis" (Wikipedia) (Was this bug discoverd by Louis Pasteur's wife, and was she named Ella?). If you mean that people who play the guitar on a beach are pests, then, if memory serves, you fit the bill exactly yourself!
P.S. You ask 'where did I go wrong?' - I think you should open a new blog for this clearly saga-length topic.

St. Anley said...

Dear Anon,
Unlike Eva, Eliza needs attention to her adenoids.
Whatever, we'll be pleased to see you at that 'table so bright'!

So glad you're awake, Ken, you caught every nuance of my obscurity.

Anonymous said...

Eliza adenoidal??!!! But she comes from Yorkshire, not Liverpool! I will listen again, but that adjective has not occured to me in all these years of listening to EC, live and on record.

St. Anley said...

Eh-up, lad, a'll go to t' foot o' t' steers.
'arken t' this, and mark well:

Yorkshire adenoids have a very special quality, much beloved of traditionalists. They impart a unique nasality to the voice which is almost imperceptible to the foreign ear. It is totally different to that heard west of the Pennines.
Did you know that Yorkshire surgeons, in times gone by, would guillotine tonsils on the kitchen table. Adenoids were inaccessible to their primitive instruments, so they left them alone.
Thank providence for primitive instruments!

Anonymous said...

Wonder if there's any chance of a Yorkshire transplant of my voice box then can speak proper & have me words fit thee spelins,

Anonymous said...

This diatribe re Yorks adenoids: as St.Anley doesn't name a source for this concoction, we must assume it's his own, and therefore carries no weight as evidence. In any case, it doesn't even refer to Yorks. people having adenoidal voices, which is the moot point, IS IT NOT?

Anonymous said...

How does evidence get to have "weight"? If that were so then it would never get to court would it? They would say I can't use this evidence - it's too heavy"
I'd now like to talk about Eva Cassidy. I'd like to but the sycophants have said it all.